Post – Fresh Air Pink Cheeks

Mar 29

Mar 29 Yes, I’m still going outside during self-isolation

Since adopting self-isolation to slow the spread of coronavirus 16 days ago, I’ve seen a lot of Instagram opinions about what we should and shouldn’t do in these times. #staythefuckhome has become a popular hashtag, website and mantra in response to pictures of people sitting outside and parks filled with neatly spaced couples 1.5 metres distance from one another. I got snuffed at while getting to close to someone queuing for a takeaway coffee the other day in a rare offline interaction with a stranger. And I understand the concern, believe me. 16 days ago I was meant to go to a gig with friends that was cancelled due to the crisis when it really hit me that my life would be very much affected by this news. I cancelled my birthday party the next day, and, in full socially responsible pride and camaraderie, took to the couch. Stay the fuck home I did.

Since then, I’ve been going through every wave of the Covid emotional spectrum of a non-infected person in quarantine. I’m self-employed, so financial dread was never far away, along with pretty terrible self-esteem blows every time yet another job fell through or didn’t get back to me. I also started to meditate daily, I’m reading a lot more and am even really enjoying cooking and eating healthy foods and taking a break from sugar and alcohol. I hoover 3 times a day, scraped a fossilising shellac manicure off my nails, sleep 9 hours a night (no naps!), am watching about 3 Netflix series, read a lot less news… and I’m still going crazy.

Instead of focussing on all the things I can’t do right now like travel or plan pretty much anything in the future, I’m trying to pull my attention to what I can do, and what I already have. As it stands, in Germany at least, we’re still allowed to spend recreational time outdoors, alone or with another person. This has been my absolute saving grace over the last 16 days of accepting this new reality. Going outdoors every day in some small way, breathing in fresh air. Noticing the changes in plants as spring arrives, with more trees having buds on them than not now. The ever-longer days and return of birdsong. Finally (FINALLY) warmer weather, less layers, wearing a different coat after 6 months in a 9-year old down puffer jacket I really need to replace one of these days. Spring flowers covering the ground of the nearby cemetery that’s been shut down. These external observances are a very welcome distraction from the hot mess inside my head and allow me to ground myself back to actual reality. I’m alright. I’m here and now and actually nothing is that wrong at all.

A lot of the longer hikes I’ve discovered around Berlin have been made accessible to me by public transport, which means I’ve had to be a bit more creative in my routes of late. And I’ve discovered: MY BIKE! The public transport system is so good in Berlin (and I am so lazy) that I’ve left my bike pretty much parked all winter, but spring is here baby and it’s time to shine. So as well as using my humble steed to get me across town to remaining (few) appointments, I’ve been going on longer bike rides for exercise, something I’ve never done before. Yesterday my boyfriend and I cycled from Kreuzberg to Müggelsee and back which to those not familiar, is about as far as from your house to mid-northern Siberia and back. It is very very far.* We cycled, pretty slowly to be fair, for about 3.5 hours in total, mostly in lovely sunshine and with some wind to push against, and took 2 breaks, mainly because I thought my butt might fall off otherwise. And it (the bike ride, not my butt) felt so. Good. By the afternoon back at home I was finally actually happy to sit on my couch. Every step to the kitchen or bathroom was highly calculated for maximum efficiency to avoid further trips. I felt some actual mental relief for having exercised my body, and so happy to finally have my regular post-hiking pink cheeks (read: beet red wind-burned face) back. And so long as I am allowed and it’s safe to do so, I will keep getting fresh air as part of my self-care programme during self-isolation, and do whatever I can to help remind people to get their daily sniff of fresh air and stress relief while they can.